


These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For

by ByteMe (something_generic)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen, have fun, ngl stormtroopers deserve better, no beta we die like stormtroopers, they won't get it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25164220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/something_generic/pseuds/ByteMe
Summary: They’d been sent down to retrieve two droids, an astromech and a protocol droid, which supposedly had some information vital to squashing the rebellion once and for all. 35 seriously doubted they’d ever completely squash the rebellion or that one bit of information could even come close, but that was another opinion he would keep locked away inside his head. It wasn’t his job to question superiors.--Its that scene from a new hope, you know the one, but from the troopers perspective.Enjoy :)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For

**Author's Note:**

> hah look at that i actually wrote something  
> usually it takes me months to even start but i did the whole thing in like a day this is unprecedented 
> 
> i hope you like reading this as much as i liked writing it 
> 
> you're all angels, may the force be with you :)

ST-835 didn’t hate desert planets as much as most stormtroopers – sure, the sand was a nightmare, and their armour really wasn’t designed for hot weather, but he’d take a desert over an ice planet any day. And after four long months stationed on a Star Destroyer, he was actually looking forward to stretching his legs a bit and getting to breathe air that wasn’t recycled. 

He’d shared this opinion with FN-356, and got rolled eyes and an _of course you’d be excited for a mission on this dustball thirty-five_ for his troubles, so he didn’t tell anyone else. Even if he did get the impression MR-44 would agree.   
Their new captain certainly wouldn’t. 

CC-3228, his squad’s usual captain, had been out of action since last week, after an unhinged TIE pilot broke his jaw. CC had bumped into him in the mess hall, and even though we all know CC could have taken the bastard easily, he couldn’t risk fighting back. The thing was, their captain’s been around since the Clone Wars, so he’s been getting _obsolete_. The slightest mistake, and he’s gone for good. The bastard TIE pilot didn’t even get reconditioned, but CC barely escaped decommissioning. 

Sometimes 35 hated the Empire, not that he’d ever say that out loud. CC was the best captain in the legion, and he looked out for his squad, which is more than could be said for his replacement. 

Their new captain – SC-45-something-or-other – was a bully and an idiot and 35 really hoped they wouldn’t be stuck with him for long. He’d spent the entire journey to the surface so far complaining about sand, and blaming the squad for him having to come at all. As if they had any control in this situation. 

He was seated almost directly across from SC-whatever, and it was making him distinctly uncomfortable. It was taking all his willpower not to fidget, and he could tell he wasn’t the only one. FN, sitting to his left, was getting tenser and tenser with every second, right up until the captain made a nasty comment about being _too good for babysitting you hopeless shinies_ , and FN was biting back.

“We aren’t actually shinies you know. We’ve had more combat experience than you, that’s for sure. And, I have to say, none of us want you here either.”

FN never knew how to keep quiet.

The captain was momentarily speechless, before he lurched up from his seat and stalked towards FN. “What did you say to me?” he hissed, clearly furious, “Just who do you think you are, trooper?”

FN bristled and moved to stand as well, but before he could do or say anything else that could get him reconditioned or worse, MR-44 intervened. He stood from his seat beside 35, cool as a dead star in that odd, regal way of his that 35 could never understand, and stepped in between the other two men. “I’m sure FN-356 meant no insult by his comment Captain,” he said. “Tensions are simply running high – it always takes a little while to get used to a new captain, and none of us are eager to spend time on a desert planet if we can avoid it.”

This was why 35 kept his opinions to himself. 

The captain’s head snapped towards 44. “Hah! You expect me to believe that? I bet you can’t wait to get on that rock, you pretentious rimkin _bug_! I bet you’ll feel right at home!”

See, it shouldn’t be a problem, because you couldn’t even tell under the amour. Like this, 44 looked just the same as the rest of the stormtroopers, totally indistinguishable. You couldn’t tell unless you saw his skin, but 44 was Mirialan. So this captain shouldn’t have even had to know. But some greysuit up in command decided that they couldn’t possibly have an officer unknowingly work with an _alien_ , so 44 and all the other non-human recruits had specific designations for their species. Its why he’s an MR, and why the squad shortens it to 44 instead – he hated that he’d been singled out even in his name. 44 got a lot of flack when he first arrived, though never from the squad, but 35 knew it just meant that he’d had to work twice as hard as any of them – and it showed. He’s the best the sector had seen in years. 

The last two members of the squad, 35 and ST-1573, are on their feet with the others in seconds, ready to swing, but 44 barely flinches. “I wouldn’t know sir. I’ve never been to Tatooine. However, Mirial is a frozen planet, so I do doubt it.”

Cool as a dead star, like always. 

Just as the captain started gearing up a retort, salvation came in the form of the pilot’s voice sounding over the internal comms. _“We will be planetside in T minus 30 seconds. Brace for landing.”_  
________

Mos Eisley Spaceport. It was practically famous for its lawlessness, a magnet for all sorts of nefarious, criminal types, and yet 35 couldn’t help but grin behind the safety of his helmet as the squad stepped off the shuttle and onto solid ground. It was achingly familiar – the low-sitting buildings and wide-open landscape so similar to the lava flats of his homeworld, even with the binary suns shedding blinding light over every visible surface, like he would never see back home.

They’d been sent down to retrieve two droids, an astromech and a protocol droid, which supposedly had some information vital to squashing the rebellion once and for all. 35 seriously doubted they’d ever completely squash the rebellion or that one bit of information could even come close, but that was another opinion he would keep locked away inside his head. It wasn’t his job to question superiors. 

“Still excited to be here, thirty-five?”

35 dug his elbow into FN’s stomach in retaliation. 

“Oww, fine, no need to be violent,” FN laughed. “Just because you’re insane and _like_ sand.”

“Oh give over, not all of us are as miserable as you, you know,” 35 grinned wider under his helmet. 

FN laughed again, and they set off after their captain with the rest of the squad. The checkpoint they’d been assigned to was all the way across town, which gave the locals ample time to express their… displeasure at the new imperial presence on the planet. It wasn’t pleasant. Then came two mind-numbing hours of inspecting uncooperative droids and their abrasive owners. They hadn’t found the astromech they were looking for, and they hadn’t seen a single protocol droid. 

Essentially, their only job was to stand around looking intimidating while the captain asked questions. Once again, 35 was massively thankful for the helmets – what with his babyface and FN’s permanent squint they couldn’t have intimidated anyone. The only one who was remotely frightening was ST-1573, who had a face like a rancor and was half a head taller than almost all the other troopers. But she didn’t talk, ever, and had a child-like fascination with every little thing – it was a nightmare trying to keep her from getting distracted. It’s a mystery how she ever made it through basic training, but 35 was glad she did. She was good company. Better than FN, for sure. 

Then, like a dream, a speeder pulls up with two droids sitting in the back – a blue R2-unit astromech and a golden protocol droid. 35 could hardly believe it. These were the droids they were looking for! They had to be! The captain evidently thought so to, as he didn’t waste a second in stopping the speeder and leaning over the two people on board. 

“How long have you had these droids?”

“About three or four seasons?” The response came from the sandy-haired teen driving the speeder, much to fast the be anything other than a lie.35 could practically feel FN rolling his eyes besides him. 

The hooded old man in the passenger seat butted in then, smirking. “They’re up for sale if you want them.” 

Well, the captain was having none of that. “Let me see your identification.” 

“You don’t need to see his identification,” the old man said, with a wave of his hand. 35 stared at him incredulously. What was this man doing? Their captain was a right bastard, this man was going to get himself killed! Except-

“We don’t need to see his identification.”

What?

“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”

The captain turned to the squad, and shook his head. “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.”

What the kriff? 35 shared a glance with 44, who shrugged minutely. He turned back to the man in the speeder, who gestured at the boy. “He can go about his business.”

The captain nodded. “You can go about your business.”

“Move along.”

35 looked back at the captain again. They were just going to let them go? But why?

Their clearly insane captain stepped back, with the squad automatically following in turn, and waved the speeder away. “Move along. Move along!”

They watched as the speeder sped away. 

“Uh, sir?” FN piped up, never one to keep his mouth shut, “Are you sure those weren’t the droids we’re looking for?”

The captain turned to stare at FN, like he was the crazy one. “What droids?”

FN hesitated, as confused as the rest of them. “The droids in the back of that speeder?” 

“What are you talking about trooper? There were no droids in that speeder,” the captain scoffed. “Are you seeing things?”

35 was baffled.

“Uh, no Captain,” FN muttered. “My mistake.”

The captain huffed and turned to the next transport in line. “Hey! You there! Got any droids in this vessel?”

“What the kriff was that?” 35 asked when he was out of earshot.

44 shrugged. “Not a clue. But I bet, if we play our cards right, we can use it to get CC back in charge.”

“Good idea. We could probably even spin it to make that nerf-herder look like a spy,” FN laughed. “Right. Back to it, I guess?”

The others nodded, and followed their soon-to-be-ex-captain.

Today had probably been the weirdest day in 35’s life.


End file.
